My 5 Biggest Wedding Regrets

Written by Rea Shaw


Posted on February 22 2023

Avoid these things and you will not regret anything when your wedding is over!

Now don't get me wrong, my wedding day was absolutely amazing, it was everything we wanted it to be and I enjoyed every part of the day including the whole planning process on the lead up. In fact I loved it so much that's the main reason how I ended up becoming a wedding stationery designer and stylist full time. But it's very normal afterwards when you have time to reflect on what happened, what you would maybe would of done differently! My 5 biggest regrets aren't something I think about every day and I don't wish I could go back in time, they are just little things that I wanted to share in case it helps someone else like you, avoid feeling the same.
So let's start with the biggest one first!

Not hiring a Videographer 

I'll start by saying our photographer was absolutely amazing and we were so happy with all the photos captured, we have a gorgeous album and gorgeous treasured memories to look back on. But I wish we had taken the time to consider a videographer, because i really think we would of booked one. Now in my defence at the time (2013) it wasn't really that much of a big thing to have your wedding filmed. I'd been to one wedding where they had one but it wasn't a must have for couples back then, like it is now! As we are well aware, video is king these days, it helps capture a feeling you just don't get with photos. 

If you are considering it, I would say just go for it! Think of it like this, you are spending a long time planning this day, it's totally worthy of it! Every one tells you it goes by so quick (which it does!) and you won't be able to be everywhere on your day, so you will miss what your guests are up to and you won't see their reactions all the time. This stuff is priceless, you will be forever grateful for including this into your day, I just know it. Some of my family captured a few snippets of us doing our first dance and it's so special to me. Our wedding comes alive with this very video and we watch it every anniversary. So trust me and just book a videographer!


Not doing a speech myself

I actually really wanted to do a speech along with my husband but I didn't feel confident enough to stand up in front of everyone back then. I think if I just took some time to practice I would of been able to do it. I felt because we had planned it all together and it was such an amazing experience, I wanted that to reflect in what we said to our guests. But my husband did a fantastic job with his speech, which was really funny and told our love story beautifully. So I couldn't of asked for more. But there was a huge note to self afterwards: do the thing, even if it scares you! So if you have the urge to do a speech of your own, then practice and you will be fine.


Keeping Secrets

We decided once we had booked our tipis, we would keep it a secret from everyone. (except our mums, so they could be involved and help!)  Back in 2013 there weren't many different styles of marquee available, like there is now. So when we saw the tipis at a venue in York, we decided to keep the venue a surprise. We wanted all our guests to have the same experience as us when they walked in under the canvas. It was a truly magical feeling. A new experience! Something different! We thought that if our guests knew what we were planning, they would be looking up the tipis online and it would ruin the magic. So we just give the location and didn't reveal anything else until the actually wedding day. 

I'm not going to lie, this made everything a bit harder, as we had to watch what we was saying around family ALL THE TIME!! And I guess when I look back, I know we did it for a reason, but we properly missed out on everyone helping, especially on set up day!! When my dad saw the tipis for the first time he had tears in his eyes, so he was totally blown away, which is what we wanted, but I do regret not allowing him to be part of the planning process with us because of this. I think a few surprises are essential for your wedding to be amazing, ours was a pretty big secret and it worked! But would I do it again? Yes, but I would tell my dad!!


Extra Food

We got married at about 3pm and sat down to eat our barbecue at 5.30pm. By the time we were finished the evening guests we arriving and we had arranged a buffet. We had way too much food left over, and it was such a waste. I 100% regret doing that. It's really hard working out how much your guests are going to eat, and i didn't want anyone being hungry, so we just made plenty. Working out your food timings is key to knowing how much you're going to need. But every wedding I have attended up to now, there is always waste with the food!


Chatting to Guests

Like I said before you can't be everywhere on your wedding day and you certainly won't talk to everyone either! I definitely didn't talk to all our guests that much, I went round the tables after dinner before the disco started and made sure I spoke to each evening guest that arrived. But I was glued to the dance floor all night I have to admit! We did our own playlist, so the trouble was, I loved every song that came on! Obviously the guests were up there with me too, so if they wanted to chat they would have to do it on the dance floor! I had the best time so I don't regret it, I just maybe should of taken a breather and gone to chat to the guests at some point! 


I hope this blog post has helped you in some way, and if has changed your mind on a certain matter, I am glad you have found it useful. 

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